Publish and Be Damned

The first explicit — or even semi-explicit — sex scene I remember reading was in a novelization of the movie Romancing the Stone. I was probably around 15. I don’t think it shocked me, although it may have surprised me a bit. It certainly was fairly tame, and probably the only body part specifically referenced was breasts (it was only a PG or PG-13 movie, after all).

I can’t say it made a great impression on me, although perhaps it did since I can still remember the experience of reading it, if not the exact words. It didn’t send me running for more of same. At the time I was probably more interested in reading science fiction and fantasy, and why I read RtS I don’t know. I was a big reader, though, and it was probably just there and I needed something to read and so I read it.

You know, I just remembered — the first erotic stuff I wrote was in college, and it was a joke with a friend. I think it was a bit of a dare to make him blush. He was gay and rather flamboyant and I think he made it a point of pride not to be too terribly shocked by anything. For someone with very little sexual experience, going simply by imagination and what I might have read in books was kind of a kick.

The plot involved a small-town girl going to a big city and falling in with…well, not the wrong crowd, but certainly not the crowd she envisioned. There was straight sex, lesbian sex, group sex and even a bit of bondage, if I recall. The most memorable line, in a scene between two women was: Oops, you moved.

The notebook with that story is long since gone. I wrote other things at long intervals after graduating college, nearly all in the science-fiction/fantasy genre. What I write tends to reflect what I’m reading at the time, and that was my genre of choice. Well, that and Robert Ludlum, but for some reason I don’t do spy stories.

Moving on, in June of 2007, my family relocated to Pennsylvania and I was working from home. Shortly after the move, I became pregnant, and because of the tanking economy and my previous pregnancy history, job searching went into cold storage. Trying to cut costs and save space, I searched online for free reading material and added romance into the string and found Literotica.

I was intrigued.

At first I wasn’t quite sure what to think and kept it to myself, including clearing my browser cache when necessary. Eventually, I decided that was a bit silly, especially after I discovered that many stories were stories with sex in them, as opposed to simply sex stories, and that they were on a par with what one would find in the romance section. Better than many of those, in fact.

I read enough stories, in print and online, that I thought: I can do that. So I did. I started a few just to see what would happen. Writing the sex was the most difficult part; I felt like quite the voyeur. “Soft” is too hard a word for my initial attempts at sex scenes, but I kept at it. Practice makes perfect, after all.

Wait — the most difficult part, I must correct myself, was finishing a story. I’d started some here and there in the past for my own enjoyment, but nothing was ever completed, for various reasons. After I proved I could finish something, then the sex scenes were the hardest part.

The difference between the sex scene in my first finished and posted story, Make a Wish, and those that followed are, I think, pretty clear. I also think, and hope, they got better. Readers say they like them, so I guess that’s the best gauge.

It quickly became clear to me that I like to write — and read — romantic stories (stories with weres are really just furry romances). I can’t help it; I like the principals meeting and overcoming obstacles and having a happy ending (although a happy ending isn’t as important as the right ending). I’ve certainly branched out and read stories in different genres, but I’m not comfortable writing in those categories, so I don’t. There are others who do enjoy writing that, and so I’ll leave it to them, because everyone will be better off.

My ideas come from a few places, some I remember and some I don’t. Songs, for example. I find that reading new stories is often a source of ideas. I’ll read a story and wonder “What if X had said no in that scene instead of yes?” and then something will coalesce in my head and I’ll try to get it down. Sometimes it flows easily, other times I have to stop and let it simmer, and still other times I sit and write something just to keep it moving.

In no way did I think I’d do any kind of writing in any kind of serious way — it’s not what I studied, not what I did at work. I certainly didn’t think I’d write anything novel length or have anything published. But it’s fun, and that’s a big plus. I hope I can keep it up, because it really is a great release. *ahem*

February 27th, 2010 | Eve McFadden | Discussion Topics, First Bite | 3 Comments »